First dinner with my man and electricity

This is a posting based on suggestion from Farah. Thank you Ms. scarce daisy!

Well, this is a story about how I met my boyfriend. I was visiting a good friend of mine in the golf driving range one day. He's an old friend and I haven't seen him for a while. He was with a few friends (all boys:) so we end up having some drinks at the clubhouse. One of his friends is this guy who liked to talk. Friendly. But I didn't think anything of it. At all. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. I was surprise I did that due to the fact that at that time I was actually in a relationship with someone else.

For some reason I expected him to call me right away,but he didn't! That actually bothered me and till this day I still don't know why. Three days went by until he finally called me and asked me to go to dinner with him. I said yes. Right away.

This is where the weird part started to happened. He called me again in the afternoon to confirm the dinner while I was at starbucks having some coffee with a friend. I have no idea why.. but after that short phone call, I was a nervous wreck! I was physically shaking from thinking about this dinner I am about to have with this guy. It's nuts! First I don't really know him, and second, I actually have a boyfriend.

I rushed to my apartment, took a shower and my nerve got the best of me to a point I called him and asked if we can move back our dinner one hour from the original time. Hell I was even hoping he'd cancel because I was having this crazy experience I've never had before...being nervous before meeting I guy I hardly knew! Within that extra hour, I manage to change clothes five to six times. Walk around my apartment. Oh and I did my share of talking to myself. When I finally went to my car, I actually came back out to change clothes one more time! It's nuts.

I decided to wear something casual with the glimmer of hope of showing him that for me, it was only a simple dinner. No big deal. Yeah yeah yeah.. You got it. I was trying to act cool.

We've decided to meet at this great Thai Restaurant. As I walked into the restaurant, my heart beats so fast I felt like I was doing a 100 meters sprint in the Olympics. I felt like I had to stop every two step to catch my breath. As much as I was trying to act cool.. I couldn't really hide my emotional reaction I was having with this stupid dinner. At times, I actually felt dumb and not understanding what made me felt like this way.

Dinner was great. No I am lying. We hardly ate our food. We talked. Talked. And Talked. And oh my God... the wholetime I was thinking to myself there is no logic for me to be this nervous and at the same time I felt guilty because of my current relationship. But I cannot stop this emotional outpouring I was experiencing.. this is not a felling I've ever experienced before. Let alone with a guy I just met.

Have you ever met a man that you just "know" that there is so something special about him? Like the way he talks to you? Or the sound of his voice? So when you're just there.. listening intently to him.. to his voice..and suddenly, everything just so clear to you. Suddenly everything that is important to you is sitting right there in front of you? And nothing else matter? Close your eyes and remember how that felt?

Well girls..that's how I felt that night. And nothing can stop that feeling.

I came home that night feeling tired. Worst of all, I can't stop thinking about him and actually did not sleep at all that night. I couldn't keep him out of my mind. What a night. And we just had dinner.. that's it.

Tiara

How to love yourself?

Two days ago I received an email from a new friend (lets call her YP) . She just visited my blog for the first time and have an important question for me. "How to make a woman love herself?".

She continued, "I feel so insecure...perhaps because my mum keeps pointing out my lacks. And I know, I shouldn't listen to her, just like my brother (and dad, and aunts, and boyfriend) asked me to...I don't feel I'm pretty. I'm quite tall, at least for Indonesian woman, but don't feel proud of it. I haven't succeed on looking at the best(s) of me (if I have one)".

YP, I don't have all the answers. I do know this, I personally must have a purpose in life to feel relevant. When I feel relevant, I like myself much better.

What is your purpose in life YP? It doesn't have to be big, but it has to be YOUR purpose. I remember the days where nothing is working for me. I wake up in the morning and just that.. wake up. Nothing else. I feel irrelevant in this world. How do one love herself when she feels irrelevant? Slowly my life change for the better. I found my purpose. I hold on to it. I commit. And I feel good about myself.

One more thing. I noticed in your email that you mentioned a boyfriend. Do you love him? Does he love you? If the answer is yes, it should help. Relationship is not like the movies.It is hard. You have to work on it. Making a relationship better is just one more thing to add in your list of "purposes". If a man stand in front of you with an eyes that said "I love you", he may know something that you don't about yourself. If another person can love you that much, isn't it easier to love yourself?

I don't know all the answers. But I hope you will find your purpose YP. We are here waiting for you to let us know someday!

Any suggestion for YP girls?

Tiara

PS: A special message to YP; sometimes the sexiest thing a woman can wear is a pair of pants! Especially if you are as tall as you say you are. I too wear pants more than I wear skirts. Start shopping girl. :) Second, try longer hair that covers part of your face for a balance look.

Ngobrol di telpon yuk

Hi sisters!

Sorry, this one is only for those who live in Indonesia :(

Kamu-kamu yang pingin ngobrol dan bagi-bagi cerita dengan aku, sekarang bisa! Telpon aku disini. Mau tips kecantikan? kebugaran? atau mau ngerumpi aja? Bisa semuanya!

Aku tunggu disini!

Tiara

Bare my soul(mate)

We all agree that a soulmate is someone who was MEANT for you and MEANT to be with you.

Soulmate for me is a bestfriend above all else, someone who motivates you, makes you laugh easily, someone who listen patienly to what I have to say, someone who I can say anything to, someone who let me be a "monster" but will forgive me quickly when I apologize. Essentially, someone who will stand by you. We think alike, share the same interests and has common value. He makes a dramatic impact in my life(and I don't even rely it sometimes). He makes me to be a better person. He connects with me in a way that I can't explain... you know, we know what each other are thinking by just looking and smiling at each other. He always seem to always finish my sentences.

He completes me in way that when we are both together we are so much stronger as whole than when we are alone. And when we are away from each other I feel like a part of me is missing. We are comfortable together in silence. He would gladly put me and my needs ahead of his own. He has a deep desire to provide me with all that I am missing from my life.

Does the long description above enough for you guys? There is one man in my life that fit the above description. Is he my soulmate? Probably you would say yes. But let me point something to you.. I am not with him now. I have called one person a soulmate in my life and that is him. Yet, we're not together anymore. Whatever happened between us, he always hold a special place in my heart and I thank him. From the bottom of my soul, I thank him for the love he gave me and the friendship we had (have).

Let me ask you again. Is he my soulmate? Or do I need to define a "soulmate" better?

Tiara

What do you want to discuss? .

Hi girls,

I want this blog to be a place for us women to be able to discuss anything. So if you have any idea for discussion or maybe issues that makes you sleepless... go ahead and let me know via comments below or you can also email me (if it is more of a private nature:) at Tiaralestar@yahoo.com

I'll be waiting :)

Big kiss,
Tiara

Eat MORE to lose fat (Believe me)

Hi Girlfriends!

Welcome to Tiara for Women Only.

Just us here, so feel free to comments. No men allowed.

Girls, lets get this one out of the way. The worst thing you can do if you are trying to lose fat is NOT EATING. Starving yourself will do more harm than good in the long run. You actually need to eat more if you are trying to lose fat. Believe me when I say this is not a gimmick. It works for me! Try this after Ramadan is over, and I do mean try it with conviction for a month. If you do it right.. you will not be hungry and you will lose fat! In three months your old clothes won't fit.

Here's the logic behind this fact (not a theory): You see girls.. our body has been created with such efficiency that would put any fortune 500 companies to shame. It is so efficient that the body only burns energy it NEEDS to burn. Energy equals the food we take. So if more energy is being fed into our bodies (i.e. you eat more food than you need), the rest of the energy fed into our body will be stored as FAT. If, on the other hand you only eat what your body need at that time, the body will burn the energy and there won't be extra energy for fat storage area.

So how do we make sure we eat just enough food for our body. Well, stop eating three times a day. Start eating six times a day! Because by eating smaller portion six times a day, instead the three big meals a day, you will give your body only enough energy to burn and not store extra energy as fat. That is the simple reason.

From the point you wake up, your body burn energy all day long. Heck, you burn energy when you are sitting down in your office. Let alone when you actually doing things useful like running and working out :)

I'll make the formula simple and this is not my idea. I kind of stole it from a real expert named Bill Phillips (click here for his site). First, you must eat a balance meal, which essentially half carbohydrate and half protein. Now, make a fist with your hand. You see the size of your fist? Use that as the guide of how much you eat in a single meal. You have to eat one "fist size" of protein and one "fist size" of carb for a single meal. Try to make your meal as "dry" and don't use too much sauce of any kind (no kecap ibu-ibu:). If you can, do not use much oil at all except olive oil. Do this six times a day.

Now the beauty of this meal plan is that you need to have a "cheat day". This is a day when you can eat anything you want only for one day a week. Make sure you do this. Your brain needs it. If you don't do a cheat day, at some point you will start eating bad stuff again and the next thing you know... there goes the diet plan. But once a week.. you chow down! Six days a week, keep it strict, don't miss a meal and please... please no oily food. One teaspoon of oil has 14 grams of fat girls. It is the evil of any diet plan.

One more thing.. drink a lot of water. And I do mean a lot, up to 8 glasses a day. The first week, you may find yourself going to the bathroom a lot. It is ok.

Should you work out with this diet? Yes. It will greatly help if you workout, at least three times a week. However, you will still see result even if you don't work out (as long as you are strictly eating the way I said).

So, make a plan to change yourself for the better. Commit. Stay committed. Have a cheat day once a week. And wear that tight dress you always wanted to wear and surprise your husband or boyfriend!

Good luck.

Tiara